秘密

今天到怡保玩！人山人海！想七点去吃芽菜鸡，怎知卖完了。只好走走逛逛，买了粽子。一转身，老公说你看那个人怎么那么眼熟？我望过去，嘿！是我的旧同事、也是朋友（还有联络）。赶忙截停他，他慌张的松开一个女子的手，赶快把身体挡着我的视线跟我打招呼。
其实，我本来没注意到他的慌张，也没特别注意那女子，还以为是他老婆。但当我问你老婆呢？他说没来！我就好奇怪，明明见到他拖着个女的，还以为是他老婆。天啊！再过两个礼拜他就结婚了！搞什么？！
哈啦两句，我就走开了。老公说他拖着的应该是中国妹。
走路去取车时，又再见到他们，他自己走过来，竟问我最近在哪儿工作？天！他应该慌傻了！他根本是知道我好多年没工作了。最近一次通电还是几天前，问我怎样把请谏交给我！
当我问他今晚有没有过夜时，他的答案竟是还没回KL，但要去别的地方。我想他在怕我叫他等下出来喝茶，因为他和那女的还有下半场吧。
回到旅店，心还在想这件事。可怜他老婆，但我不能出声。毕竟是他们的事。
另方面，我很侥幸！侥幸我当初从未想过接受他。第一次，觉得自己嫁对了老公！
我不知道他有多爱他老婆，换了是我他可能对我专一吗？
我由还没结婚就认识他了，明示暗示他都做了，他连妈妈也带来见我。但我由第一天就告诉他，我们是朋友。清清白白的，连手也没碰过。他本来就不是我喜欢的类型。

最后，大家都会放弃我

在电台听了一番话，我想应该画个=号在我身上。
怎么说呢。。。每次朋友的开解，劝予都只是强心针，只能维持短暂的时间好情绪，过不久又来了。身为我的朋友会很累，本来想帮我，开解我的朋友都会放弃我。
现在的我，真的觉得如此！本来在开解我的，都对我的一切不闻不问了。到最后，死的时候也只有我一个人。
我的情绪本来就像海浪，永远不会停。
很迷惑，朋友不是该给我力量？而是谴责我的不是？我该或不该。。。。
想说，对不起。。。如果我对于＂朋友＂要求太高。
我，如果没有任何约束的话，我会拼命去为朋友的那个。可惜，现在为了迁就家庭，得节制点点。
我对朋友认真，当然希望他们也一样。如果他们不是，我会颓丧，怪自己做不好。

每年的七月

由第一年女儿离开后，巧合的知道槟城极乐每年农历七月都会有超度法会后，今年已是第三年把女儿的名字放上牌位做超度了。而我们也在这个时期赶去槟城一趟，买些吃的看看＂她＂！三年了，站在牌位前，眼泪还是会不听话的流下。心口里的伤， 我想-是这辈子都不会好了吧！

低落情绪

今夜，讨厌的低落情绪又来了！讨厌自己为何那么容易被别人的一举一动影响！

烂能量家伙释放正能量

有两个家伙学人释放正能量，拜托！连自己的心肠都没安好，就作烂好人！收起你们的烂能量吧！
每每见到她们所谓的正能量禅言禅语在涂鸦墙时，都有恶心的感觉。

相反的，有几个正真禅的，我就很爱！因为能感受到他们的心。。。

friend, y u thread me like that?

case no 1 - her new arrival material 9 out of 10 same as mine..She give me excuse that all the material that same as mine is customer request de
Case no 2 - She knows i learnt paper quiling few weeks ago. Now she making enquiry for paper quiling starter kit..
Case no 3 - I do post u all de event n product on certain place as volunteer. She does the same at her page too...but others de..
Case no 4 - I do donate a small amount to a group previously, she donate the same amount to the same group this time when they need
Case no 5 - I donate my stuff to sell in charity event, when she saw the photo tag, she use another account to ask to join.
Case no 6 - I join the sewing 'yong qi wa wa' (dolly) at first, she oso join. Then i never post anything during the sewing period. Actually i m sewing. Few days before dateline, i post up n said i going to send out mine. She cepat cepat go n get material, n get it done before dateline.

N i always had ' tsunami' post on my status. she will send me message, ask me to share, to make friend with me....talk abt biz too'
Case no 7 - Just found, she friend with my non crafter friend too, my school time friend, even my own auntie! Wonder what she doing!......since she had my private friend contact, means she steal biz is it? Too bad, they r not my customer. Haha..

she always ask me y never open my heart, i m too sensative lar,..

文章读后感

今天，有个朋友看了这里的文章后，说了一些读后感。
- if you keep on thinking like that, you will always surrounded by the same energy
- u have to change your thinking， change your focus
- from your blogs, u seem like too 在意your previous historypreviously like that,doesnt mean your future will be like thatbut if you think is like that, then your night mare will remain i'm not sure if you will annoy on what i'm telling you or not.
- As a friend, just give some advise. Hopefully can make things metter better
- the main point is everyone come to the world got karma, they have to repay something just to see how u want to take it. U can take it easily or hardlyu can blame and complaints or u can take it and move on happily
- suddently i remember i read an article, talking about those soul died in the tsunami in japanthe master asked the soul: why u choose to come to the earth while you already know u will die soon. The soul answer: if my sacrifies can bring some awaken to the earth, it is worth to do
- I feel so so sad when u told me about your daughter. I went home and i cried also
- sometime, people ocme into your life, they bring you some lesson, then they gogive you some lessonor repay u something or u have to repay them something

我的感言：我当然知道我的负面思想不能继续下去，但它却不定时的来袭！其实我很讨厌我的负面思想。还有，我并不是往坏处想，只是我很害怕！每次我以为‘天晴’的时候，就是‘龙卷风’来的时候。把本来的一切，搞得乱七八糟！